Drunk PA Man Attempts to Resuscitate Opossum  (Courtesy www.cbs3.com)

I love animals, (not in that way asshats) but I’ve never tried to revive roadkill.  *shudder*  Donald Wolfe, a 55-year-old Brookville resident, tried just that a couple of weeks ago in PA.  According to witnesses, Donald was kneeling near the animal and “gesturing as though he were conducting a seance.”  Other witnesses saw him attempt mouth-to-mouth.  I’m surprised there isn’t video or pics of this.  I’m sure those people stopped to watch in amazement….or disgust.  Unintentionally hilarious, Trooper Jamie Levier remarked Wolfe was “extremely intoxicated” and “did have his mouth in the area of the animal’s mouth, I guess.”  How do people live stuff like this down?  There’s really no coming back from something like this.  Can you apply for Witness Protection or something?

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