• Best Buy’s Christmas Carolers –  Any commercial with a bunch of asshats singing about products usually deserves physical violence.  This one is no exception.  When the hell did I walk into an opera?  Just talk to me dammit.  I don’t want you to sing anything to me.  It’s not clever, it’s obnoxuis.  What’ that!?  It’s a runaway truck!  Not really, I just released the parking brake and pointed it in your direction!
  • FreeCreditReport.com – I don’t think I need to convince anyone here.  I’ll give them the first commercial, it was catchy.  But like everything Hollywood they just decided to beat it to death.  Now there are 15 million different commercials, each worse than the last.  I frequently have daydreams of different painful endings to these commercials when they appear.  A guy can dream.
  • Gap/Old Navy – With exception to the mannequin commercials, anything by Gap/Old Navy generally sucks.  There’s always a bunch of yuppy jackoffs jumping around singing about their shirts, pants, or fleece something or another.  It makes me want to burn every peice of that clothing.  It doesn’t really matter to me if they take them off first or not.
  • Levi’s Rambling Nonsense – Levi’s recent commercials with random shots of beautiful people doing something artfully and some old person rambling off nonsense in the background.  I don’t even know what the hell is going on in these commercials.  If it wasn’t for the Levi’s logo at the end I’d still be confused.  Does anybody really see these commercials and think “Those kids look like they are having fun in the dark watching fireworks.  I need jeans.”  WTF?
  • Verizon – These have gotten old.  They actually got old a long time ago.  Even spoof movies stopped making fun of the “Can you hear me now guy.”  Now he just stalks people where ever they go with his million other creepy friends.  It’s no wonder I can never get a live person when calling Verizon, they’re all out following some idiot around.
  • AT&T – I loves me som iPod/iPhone.  But lets face it….AT&T’s coverage sucks.  At least it does around here.  Verizon called them out for crappy 3G coverage and AT&T shoots back with how great their General coverage is.  Uh, great….except that wasn’t the issue.  It’s your 3G coverage dumbass.  It’s like going to the mechanic and telling him your car won’t start, only to have him respond with “You need new tires!”
  • Howie Long Chevy Commercials – Who the hell thought this guy would be good in their commercials?  Probably the same people who thought he’d be a great movie star.  Howie should give his agent a raise, because he’s working miracles.  It’s not enough that Howie is horrible in all these commercials but his “co-stars” are generally as bad if not worse.  If I have to see that stupid little redheaded girl proclaim she’s a “big girl” or that assclown say “You’ve got cop hair” one more time I’m going to start slapping random people until I hit someone who approved these commercials.

« »