Archive for April, 2010

Gilligan’s stupidity first blossomed when he bought the motor for his boat that was only a 20-litre fuel tank and a 20 horse power engine.  Far less capacity and power than what is necessary for sea use.  Instead of a nautical map, Gilligan thought it was good enough to use a common road map.  He, actually, didn’t even know what navigational charts were.  I guess that didn’t matter since he had no navigational equipment anyways.  He did have a VHF radio…..although he had no idea how to use it.  Lastly, he had zero provisions on board.  How can you not at least have beer on a boat??  Brilliant.

The Coast Guard advised him of all his stupidity and suggested taking a train to his destination in the future.  However, Gilligan decided to just fuel up and head out again.  He did manage to ask if he should go left or right to head for his destination.  It’s unknown weather Gilligan made it to his final destination though I suspect the Coast Guard simply beat him with a rubber hose and then sunk his boat.

Woman Called Fat, Bites Off Ear (Courtesy

I may be a little off the mark here….but if someone calls you fat, should your next move be to take a bite out of something?  And before anyone mentions that she wasn’t eating, keep in mind that they never found the chunk of ear she managed to “Tyson” off her victim.  *shudder*  Sounds like she might have a hunger control issue!  There’s a picture, so you be the judge.  Honestly, I think the real issue is that her eyes are way too close together.  Man, that creeps me out.


PETA something…NAKED WOMEN!!!  (Courtesy

PETA members were out in Jackson, MS protesting something….I can’t remember what….but they were NAKED WOMEN taking showers behind a banner!  PETA….blah blah blah….animals…blah blah blah…NAKED WOMEN!

  • The parents had both seen the door to the baby’s room closed and assumed the other had already put her to bed.  She was a light sleeper so they were not accustomed to checking on her with every little noise.

Well, that’s just swell. Believe it or not, this is probably the most understandable statement they make.  We’ve all left something undone or unchecked thinking someone else had taken care of it already.  But, you’d think that something as important as…oh I don’t know, a fucking baby, would at least merit double checking!?  And while they may not have been accustomed to checking on her every time she woke up, wouldn’t the lack of noise signal something warranting a peek into her room?!

  •  The parents finally went to bed at 3AM Saturday night and slept until noon on Sunday, not yet checking on the baby.

WTF!?  I don’t care how well behaved your baby is or how well they sleep through the night, how can you not check on them once in over 9 hours!?  Why the hell not?  How do you not check on the baby first thing in the morning?  Don’t you think it’s odd you’ve been able to sleep so late!?

  •  The father then drove the same car to the gym, complete with baby still in the car.  The wife called at some point during his workout about the baby missing at which point she was discovered in the car already dead.

This just gets more mind numbing as it goes on.  The baby was still in the car.  How oblivious do you have to be?  Assuming you don’t even bother to check the back seat for whatever reason, do you ever check your rear view mirror!?  Odds are you’d see the baby there!  I just can’t fathom not catching at least a glimpse of the baby at some point during his drive to the gym, entering and exiting the car.

I can sympathize with anyone that loses a child, especially to something so preventable.  But I lose that sympathy when it’s due to obvious stupidity.  I can, to an extent, understand both seeing the baby’s door closed and with an extreme amount of stretching to my limits I can maybe believe that the baby was in every possible blind spot in the car that he didn’t see her on the drive in.  But I don’t care how tired, stressed, or distracted you are, there is no excuse for not checking on a child….a 7-Month-Old child….at some point before you go to bed, during the night, and first thing in the morning!!  That’s, at the very least, stupid….and at it’s worst, irresponsible and neglectful.

Dying Man Sells Advertising Space on Urn  (Courtesy

Oh man, I don’t like where this is going.  Ad space on cremation urns?  Really?  What’s next, tombstones?  I realize people’s need for money can lead them to strange ideas.  Some of which actually do pan out.  People have sold ad space on their cars, homes, even their foreheads.  But all of those had at least some chance of the ad actually being spotted.  Who the hell is going to see this guy’s urn on a regular basis besides family?  Unless this thing is sitting out in the front yard, which would be creepy, I don’t think he’s going to get many takers.  Those that do actually decide to pony up money for an ad should get a tax break, because, let’s face it, this is nothing more than a donation to help the widow pay for funeral costs.  That’s it.  Might as well treat it as such.

Pillow Talk

Korean Man Marries Pillow  (Courtesy

OK, WTF!  How did I miss this!?   A Korean man, Lee Jin-gyu (28), was wed to his beloved pillow or “Dakimakura” last month complete with wedding dress and in front of an actual priest.  A Dakimakura is a large body-sized pillow that usually has an image of various anime characters printed on them.  This one had Fate Testarossa from the “Magical Girl” series.  Apparently this is legal….though I have no idea how…or why.  Lee loves to take his “wife” to the fair to go on the rides and out to eat where she gets her very own meal.  “………”  They are expecting twin throw pillows in the fall.  Maybe one of them can hook up with Michael Jackson’s kid….Blanket.

Anyways, one good thing has come from this article: the word “Otaku.”  A Japanese term that “roughly translates to somewhere between “obsessive” and “nerd.”

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