Archive for February, 2010


  To paraphrase:

  • No images of women in bikinis
  • No images of men in bikinis!  (eek….luckily I missed all of these)

  • No skin

  • No silhouettes that indicate that Wobble can be used for wobbling boobs

  • No sexual connotations or innuendo: boobs, babes, booty, sex – all banned

  • Nothing that can be sexually arousing!!

  • No apps will be approved that in any way imply sexual content

To further explain, Wobble is an app that allows you to add Jelly-like wobble motion to any user supplied photo.  So, you could take a picture of a girl in a bikini and add said motion to her breasts.  This was specifically mentioned in a Q&A with Apple over the rules, so don’t’ start thinking that was immediately my idea.

So, no women or men (not that anyone cares about the men) in bikinis.  This seems a little extreme.  How do these kids handle walking through department stores near the ladies underwear section?  Or on the beach?  No skin and no silhouettes really confuses me.  Silhouettes can be sexy looking even if a woman is fully clothed.  And no skin….none!  Wait….what?  Does that mean all models need to have long sleeves?  How much arm is acceptable and how much isn’t?  These are all a little silly, but I can at least understand some semblance of what they are trying to do here, even if it’s maybe a tad too broad.

Now, while I understand the need to curtail some of the wording…..is Babes or Booty really something we need to start censoring?  Nothing that can be sexually arousing or imply sexual content seem a little subjective.  I never got the whole foot thing, but apparently a lot of people actually can get pretty aroused at the site of women’s feet.  I don’t get it, but wouldn’t that mean that any shoe apps (if there are any) could potentially fall under this?

Now what’s really interesting is that while hundreds of apps have already been removed, a Playboy app and the SI Swimsuit App are still available.  Apparently if you have a big enough name it doesn’t matter.

Maybe I’m just bitching for bitchings sake, but it seems like it would be simpler just to make a better parental control, or a separate app store that required some high form of age protection.  All in all I guess it really doesn’t matter much, considering most if not all of the “sexy” apps that were out there sucked anyways…..or, at least that’s what I heard.  The rules just seemed a little over the top and rather broad in what they covered.

Now, before I get started, let me clear a few things up.  I’m not religious.  Though I wouldn’t classify myself as an Atheist, I certainly fall into the Agnostic category.  Nor do I have any problem with any particular religion as a whole or people’s choice to follow said religion.  Basically, I don’t care what religion you are or what your beliefs are.  It’s none of my business, and generally doesn’t effect me in any way.  But that’s a whole other discussion.

 

I’d also like to point out that while Sam Elliott, some of the other actors, the author of the books, etc. have made the claim that the sequel was canned due to pressure from religious groups, New Line has taken the “Box Office” route.  Stating that the first movie simply didn’t make much money in the US, which is true.  It’s world wide box office take was over $380 million.  The movie only cost $180 million to make, so it certainly made it’s money back.  But the US being the “primary” target for movies, it certainly is a viable reason as well.  However, it is also well known that there were many organized protests over the films release as well as a scathing rip by Bill O’Reilly over it’s non-Christian views.  I believe he proclaimed it a “war on Christmas” due to it’s release during the holiday season. 

That being said, IF this movie was shelved due to pressure from the Religious folks, that really pisses me off.  Granted, it wasn’t the best movie in the world ever made.  I actually enjoyed the Narnia movies more, and certainly Lord of the Rings is far and away better than both of them.  But that’s not the point now is it?  It’s people sticking their nose somewhere that it doesn’t belong.  What right does any religious group have to dictate to me what I can or can not watch?  Just like with TV or Radio, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to watch it.  But just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean other people shouldn’t be able to enjoy it.   So does this mean that from now on we should have someone of the Catholic faith approve or veto all future movies?  That’s a scary thought to me, and unfortunately, considering this is essentially what happened with The Golden Compass.  Try imagining what would happen if Atheists tried to organize a boycott over Passion of the Christ because it went against their views.

As a “non-believer,” this current trend scares the hell out of me.  Take the recent story about Cecil Bothwell of Ashville, NC.  Recently elected to the City Council, suits were being threatened due to his proclaimed Atheist views and an antiquated law in the NC Constitution which states those “who shall deny the being of Almighty God” cannot hold office.  Wait….what?!  H. K. Edgerton, threatened to file suit against the city. “My father was a Baptist minister,” Mr. Edgerton said. “I’m a Christian man. I have problems with people who don’t believe in God.” Mr. Edgerton is a local civil rights leader and founder of Southern Heritage 411, an organization that promotes the interests of black Southerners.  The irony of a man who fights for equal rights for one group of people condemning and curtailing the rights of another group is mind boggling.  Fortunately, it doesn’t look like Mr. Edgerton got his way, so for now, Mr. Bothwell is still in office. But the feeling towards non-believers is heard loud an clear.

I guess I got off on a bit of a tangent, and the whole conversation might be better taken to the message boards, but seeing this over the weekend got me all riled up.  Bottom line is this, no religious group should be dicatating what I can read, what music I can listen to, what movies or TV I watch, or what video games I play.  Especially when the only issue is that it goes against their own personal beliefs. I’ll end this rant with a few words from a very wise man, George Carlin (R.I.P.): “Keep Thy Religion To Thy Self.”

 

  In no particular order:

  •  Inability to park your big car – Be it a pickup truck, a huge Cadillac, or the newest gargantuan SUV, if you can’t handle parking it, then leave it at home.  Maybe consider a Smart Car to make you less stupid.  Or simply park way out where you’re poor parking skills don’t effect anyone else.  Several times this week some idiot has managed to park well over the line with his pickup truck.  What makes it even more infuriating is that it’s being done in a parking lot that is already low on available space.  So along comes Pickup McDumbass and parks so that he has plenty of space to get out, but screws everyone else.  Because of course the person on the short end of the parking space is going to park a little further over, and the next guy does, and the next, until everyone is way off.  God forbid you check your parking and fix it.  It’s not like there isn’t plenty of space!  It’s just being lazy, and an asshole.
  • Inability to park your small car – Even more infuriating is when the above happens with some little sub compact car!  Seriously!?  You could put the damn thing in your pocket, but you can’t fit it between these two white lines?  This is pure douchebaggery.  And that may not be a word, but dammit, I’m using it.  You could park some of these cars sideways in the parking spot and it would still fit.  Yet some idiots manage to park crooked or outside the lines.  There’s no reason for it.  You should have your windshield wiper tore off and used to beat you.
  • Taking two spaces to avoid dings – I understand that your car is your baby.  It’s brand new and you don’t want to get that first ding.  That’s fine.  I’ve been that way myself.  But for the love of god, if you’re going to take two spaces, do it way out in the boonies.  Don’t pick two spots right up front to screw those of us who have already paid the Ding-Man our tolls just because you’re vain and lazy.  You want to suck up extra space, do it way out in the back where there is plenty of it to go around.  Besides, parking way out there will prevent angry people from purposefully parking next to you….close….and popping that ding cherry you have.
  • Being impatient for a spot – Yes, I have a great spot.  Yes, I’m getting ready to leave.  But don’t sit behind me while I’m trying to load my car up and honk because you really want my spot.  I’m pretty sure that’ll make me go that much slower.  Sure, that’ll be a bit of a dick move on my part, but you asked for it.  Generally I hate waiting for people, but there’s no reason to be rushing people out of a spot.  For all you know they’re waiting for someone else to come out.  Maybe they’re on the phone?  I’d much rather they be in that spot than driving around nearly forcing me into another lane.  Maybe they’re taking a nap.  Who cares?  Lifes a bitch, and they have every right to sit there until they are prepared to leave.  Sack up and move on.
  • Waiting too long for a spot – Along with being impatient goes waiting too damn long for a spot.  If nobody is behind you then there’s really no big problem.  But if it’s a busy parking lot, and you managed to take up the entire lane, and now have five other cars waiting behind you, it’s time to cut your losses.  Sure, as soon as you move past you’ll likely see those tail lights come on, but those are the brakes.  Not really, those are backup lights….but you know what I mean.  The only exception to this might be if you left enough room for other vehicles to get around you while you wait.  But be willing to accept the possibility that this person isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.  You may spend more time waiting than actually finding another spot.
  • Squeezing into a spot that you don’t fit – We’ve all seen it.  That golden spot right up close….but some asshat parked on the line and barely left enough room for a Geo Metro.  Most smart people would curse the god’s and move on.  But there are those, unfortunately plentiful, idiots that decide to squeeze in regardless.  Now this generally pisses me off just because it’s stupid, but it’s even worse if you’re somehow stuck as the other “slice of bread” so to speak.  You parked normally, but asshat number one was over the line, and asshat number 2 decided to squeeze in anyways.  Sure, they may have a sunroof to get in and out of their car but you’ve got two hands full of groceries and room that even Kate Moss would have trouble squeezing through.  Here’s a hint, if you have to fold your mirrors to get into a spot, it’s too small.  You can leave a nice note for these people if you like.  Except use a tire iron for the pen……and the note is just a shattered windshield.
  • On your ass waiting for spot – Again, you have a prime spot.  Someone is in the wings waiting to snatch it up as soon as you pull out.  One problem, they’ve pulled so far up on your ass in an effort to stake their claim that you don’t have room to pull out.  Your choice of options here are varied.  You can decide to not go anywhere until said idiot moves on, always fun.  You can pull out as far as you can, mere inches from their own vehicle, to point out their poor judgment.  Often works, but not nearly as much fun.  Or you can tear out of the spot and slam into their car.  I don’t know what the precedent is on that, but you’d probably be at fault.  But it will also probably prevent them from doing it in the future.  And will also serve to delay whatever the hell they were out trying to do.  This idiot also presents a second problem.  If you are somehow able to maneuver your vehicle safely out of your space, you’re often blocked from going past said moron because of how close they were.  So we have to play the backup, you go, no YOU go, no YOU go game. You also have the option here of slamming your car into drive and plowing into them head on.  Again, you’ll probably be at fault.  Weigh your options carefully.
  • Driving the wrong way down a lane – I was unsure if I wanted to put this on here or not.  Often times this is simply a mistake.  “Oops, thought this was the up lane.”  Not much you can really do once you’ve committed but try and get out before someone sees you.  However, if you find yourself in this position you should NOT decide that you own the lane and everyone else is just screwed.  Yes, you made a mistake, but don’t make everyone else pay for it just cause your a putz.  Give room, throw out the universal hands up “Sorry, My Bad!” gesture and move on.  We’ve all done it.  We all know it happens.  Whether or not you’re a douche bag depends on how you handle the situation after the fact.

As with most things in this world, this all comes down to common sense and civility.  Would it piss you off if someone did it to you?  Then don’t do it.  If you’re last thought before doing it is “Aw f**k it.” then it’s likely not the right choice.  Stop thinking about yourself and think about how it effects everyone else around you.  In other words, don’t be stupid.

Let’s hit the biggest issue here first.  Pink?  Why?  It’s like taking a Jeep and lowering it to the point where it can’t even scale a speed bump.  It defeats the entire purpose.  You’re taking something that is supposed to be inherently spooky and made it the next Hello Kitty accessory.  No self respecting man would put his hands on one of these, nor would he be able to take it seriously.  If you can take Ouija’s seriously at all, but you know what I mean.  I can’t imagine most spirits would want anything to do with it either.  It’s pink for Christ’s sake.  And it comes with a pink carrying case.  So until Reese Witherspoon dies I don’t think you’re going to be talking to any spirits any time soon.  Do they really think girls are going to buy this?

Now lets take a look at the really crazy stuff.  A vocal group of people, most notably of the religious crowd, has balked at the marketing of this “non-game” item.  Obviously aimed at the younger female demographic, opponents complain about this “dangerous spiritual game” and it’s potential to open up it’s players to attacks on their soul!  OK, seriously people, back away from your TV.  Log off from the internet.  I can remember countless times we played with a Ouija board growing up.  At no point did the devil or any of his cohorts decide to crash the party and haunt anyone.  These things were huge, what…20-30 years ago?  Was there some huge spike in hauntings/possessions during that time?

“It’s not Monopoly. It really is a dangerous spiritual game and for [Hasbro] to treat it as just another game is quite dishonest.” remarked Stephen Phelan, communications director for Human Life International.  “………..”  It’s not quite dishonest.  It IS a game.  The patent for the “Ouija” board was submitted in 1891, specifically to market as a game.  Despite what Hollywood or occult crazies have made it out to be, that’s what it is….that’s all it will ever be.

I realize that the perception of this game is to contact the spirits, and that’s frowned upon by aspects of some religions.  But c’mon, it IS a game.  The same aspects can be tied to using a voice recorder to catch an EVP.  Ghost Hunters must be #1 most wanted on these guys hit list!  I’ll agree that paint the thing pink is stupid, and the demographic they are aiming for is stupid, but let’s not go crazy.  People need to stop using what the see on TV, Movies, youtube, or random-guy-at-work nonsense and assuming it’s all fact.  Please, do some research on a subject before you automatically decide how evil it is.  Stop trying to ruin the fun for everyone else.

The Police found his daughter hiding in the closet with bruises on her back and scratches on her neck and shoulders.  All of which were blamed on her “squirming and trying to get away from him.”  I guess it had nothing to do with the fact that he was forcing her face into a bowl of hot water until she promised to recite the alphabet correctly.   During Police interrogation Tabor (seemingly) proudly admitted that she did recite her letters after the torture session ended.  Nice job there, dipshit.

There are so many things wrong here that I’m not really sure where to start.  Fortunately, all the things wrong are pretty much confined to Josh himself.  Though his girlfriend certainly wasn’t much help either considering she did nothing to stop the abuse or report it after the fact.  Running around the neighborhood in his helmet threatening to break out windows is an obvious sign that someone isn’t playing with a full deck.  Of course using a torture method that has drawn much fire recently to discipline a 4 year old takes stupid to a whole new level.  Now I’m not against a little physical abuse, God knows I had my share of spankings or smacks upside the back of my head growing up.  They certainly weren’t very harmful, and rarely worked as a direct deterrent, but it certainly taught me that my actions have consequences.

I’m not really sure what else one can say except this guy is a douche, his girlfriend isn’t much better, and thankfully that girl is out of that house now.

Before anyone gets started, this is NOT the same as docking tails or taping ears in dogs.  Most of that stuff originates from an actual need to help the animal in some way. For example, some dogs have had their tails docked because, in a farm/outside environment, they would collect burrs, dirt, feces, get caught on fences, or stepped on by cattle while herding. It started as a health and safety issue.  Dogs who’s ears are taped up (i.e. dobermans, Corgis, etc.) are done so because when the ears fold over they are more susceptible to ear infections. And taping does not hurt the animal in any way. One might also say that “fixing” their pet is on the same level. We all know why that is necessary and why it’s acceptable.

Granted, if you own a dog in the city you likely don’t need to have his tail bobbed, but it doesn’t cause any long term issues for the animal.  Now, things that are “purely” for aesthetic purposes and actually cause harm to the animal are another story. Especially when talking about piercing cats!! Cats do a crap ton of climbing, running, squeezing through tight spaces, etc. I’ve had cats growing up that had their collars caught on branches or fences and thus slipped out of them. Imagine one of these cats getting a piercing caught on a fence or branch. Imagine getting it caught while running from a dog or another cat. There’s no slipping out. Simply tearing it from their skin.

Now, is this as bad as the person who leaves their animals in a vacant house after the move out, or out in -30 degree weather?  I don’t think so.  But it’s certainly cruel.  There’s no reason for it.  It’s stupid, and anyone who bought one needs a swift slap to the face as well.



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