Category: Parenting

Occasionally, a story comes around that makes me want to just start round-housing random people.  Thankfully, a round-house from me would be more like “sweeping the leg,” which is far less satisfying, so I never follow through.  Regardless, I’m still angrily walking around gritting my teeth trying to understand how people can be so damned stupid.  I present to you yet another ridiculously stupid lawsuit that not only wastes taxpayers money, but also serves to teach kids abso-fucking-lutely nothing!!  I don’t even think “ridiculously stupid” even appropriately describes how stupid this is.

Teresa Bloodman, the mother of a Maumelle High School student in Arkansas, is suing the school district and state after (takes a breath) her son was cut from the basketball team.  Apparently, her son made the team after two tryouts, but was then cut after the third.  Several of the schools football players tried out at the third round and replaced several of the players, including this crazy lady’s son.  She is suing due to:

” …the deprivation of the right to a full and complete education which includes competition in sports and consequently athletic scholarships impairs (student name withheld) of a property right guaranteed under both the U.S. and State Constitutions.”

You’ve got to be absolutely shitting me!  Where in the Constitution….ANY Constitution, are you given the “right” to play a sport.  And how in the fuck are all these other kids getting an education who never even try out for a sport, let alone get to play one!  Good Christ!!  It’s just not possible!!!

The suit was filed back in October and has gone through months of hearings, motions, rulings, and other worthless wastes of time.  No trial date has yet to be set.  That, in itself, pisses me off.  There’s no reason crap like this should even go through hearings and motions.  The lawyer should have been the first person to laugh at her in the face, in a loud and extremely rude manner, tell her she’s a moron, then throw random office supplies at her till she left.  The Judge should have been the next person to laugh in her face and kicked her to the curb.  I would have then suggested a press conference to discuss how stupid it was and publicly point and laugh.  I would also have suggested the lawyer be fined for not “knowing better.”  What a unbelievable wast of everything….time, money, air.

The article goes on to list several asinine statements made by Bloodman that make me want to type them out by banging my head on the keyboard.  Let’s take a look at each of them and see if I can get through them all before my head explodes…

First, she says that holding a third tryout violated her son’s equal protection right because it’s not the same method used by girl’s teams when they pick their squads.

Holy Shit!!  I missed the laws passed that indicate teams must be picked in an identical method.  Lawyers are lining up at the schoolyard to talk to all those poor kids picked last at kickball!!!

 Second, she indicated that the coaches are not certified or qualified to coach, and therefore not able to choose who makes the team.

I’m guessing SHE is obviously more qualified?  Let’s see, it would appear that Maumelle Basketball went 21-4, undefeated in conference play, took 2nd place in the River City District Tournament.  I have no idea what that is but it sounds like these coaches are doing a fine job choosing accomplished and talented players for the team.

And lastly, her son wasn’t given the opportunity to appeal his dismissal from the team, a due process violation.

WTF!?  Due Process!?  Does she even know what the hell she is saying?  Does the Lawyer?  How did he keep a straight face while writing this crap up?  I really feel stupider for just reading the article, I can’t imagine how people actually involved in this farce feel.  You don’t get an appeal for getting cut from a team.  For the love of Bruce Campell, even the most spoiled of people, Paid Athletes, don’t try and pitch the idea of appealing a cut from a team.

Playing on a team is a privilege, not a right.  You try out and hope you make it.  IF you do, you hope you are good enough to stick around and not get replaced by someone better.  If you don’t, then you either sack up and live with it or you practice and get better.

Holy Shit!  There is a concept!  WORK HARDER TO GET SOMETHING!!  How in the hell will kids these days survive if everything isn’t spoon-fed to them!?  If you’re dead set on playing that sport, drop down to JV and get better.  He’s only a freshmen, it’s the normal progression of things.  Yes, I’m sure the kid is devastated, but life is tough.  Stuff isn’t just handed to you.  You have to work for it…..EARN IT. At least that’s the way it should be.  Every kid who tries out for a sport is not going to make it.  Even if you aren’t half bad, you still may not make it.  Bust your ass and get better or learn to play video games.  Hallelujah!  Holy Shit!!  Where’s the Tylenol!?!?

Maumelle Mother Sues After Son Cut From Basketball Team – Source:

Ark. Mother Sues District and State After Son Cut From Team – Source:

Talking Leather Couch and Daughter

Talking Leather Couch and Daughter (picture source from

OK, so just to get the obvious out of the way, this New Jersey Mom is accused of taking her 5-year-old daughter tanning with her and putting her in an upright tanning booth.  Mom and Dad both suggest this is just a case of  misunderstanding….blah blah blah…

WTF is up with this lady’s face!?  I mean seriously, how can anyone write this story up and not comment on the mom’s face!?  She’s obviously got some kind of problem.  Maybe she’s against using animal hides for leather products and plans on using skin grafts off her own body for her leather products.

I just don’t understand how someone looks in the mirror and thinks this looks good.  She’s 44 years old, for crying out loud…..she looks like she’s 60!  I just don’t get it.

Mom Allegedly Puts 5-Year-Old Daughter In Tanning Booth – Source Yahoo! News

Boy, 5, brings 50 packets of heroin to school for show and tell – Yahoo! News.

In another stellar showing for parent of the year, a 5 year old boy brought his stepdad’s heroin to school for Show-and-Tell.  Not just one bag mind you….but 50 bags!  Even better, the stepdad showed up at the school to retrieve his drugs and was (gasp!) arrested.

The article doesn’t elaborate as to if the boy knew what the substance was or how he tried to introduce it to the class.  Nor does it indicate if he knew it would get his stepfather in trouble.  However, something inside me believes that this boy was probably smarter than his 35 year old guardian and had this all planned out from the start.  Nice move…

Woman Charged In Fire That Injured Boyfriend – Local News – Omaha, NE –

You have to wonder how thoughts even enter some people’s minds….or if they enter them at all.  What part of this plan seemed like a good idea?  Tanesha Beard (30yrs) decided that the best way to leave her boyfriend was to set her house on fire with him in it, and then, wait for it…..convince two of her four children to take the blame.  She has since admitted that she was the one that set the fire.  But wait…there’s more!

Tanesha didn’t come to her senses and realize that she was going to ruin her children’s lives forever (if she hadn’t already) and just confess.  Oh no…it wasn’t until the police discovered surveillance video of her buying  gasoline a half-hour before the blaze was set.

Her boyfriend remains hospitalized with burns over half his body.  Tanesha, meanwhile, has been charged with arson and four counts of child abuse.  Next time, Tanesha, do society a favor: buy the gasoline and just pour it on yourself.

Ind. basketball dad knocks coach unconscious because he forced daughter to run laps | Prep Rally – Yahoo! Sports.

Remember the days when, if you actually did something wrong, you understood there were consequences and that you had to sometimes pay the price for your actions.  I miss those days.

An Indiana girl was caught arguing with a teammate during practice and was *gasp* forced to run a few laps as punishment by the assistant coach.  Apparently, this was unacceptable to her father.  Naturally, his first reaction was to go and have a conversation with the coach and….what?  He didn’t?  He decided to knock the coach out instead?

That’s right.  Let’s put aside the fact that this is a traditional and pretty harmless form of punishment for kids during practice.  When Mr. Miller picked up his daughter and heard about the laps he immediately attacked the coach, punching him in the face.  The coach went down with the first punch, but that wasn’t enough for Miller.  He jumped on top of him and proceeded to punch the coach until he was unconscious.  Stopping only when the Head Coach managed to pull him off.  But wait…It gets better!!!

Miller was arrested on a Class C felony battery charge (thankfully) and kicked the entire family out of the school.  What’s really great, is that the people who accompanied Miller to his arraignment had this jewel of knowledge to share:

“If the coach is $#%@& with your kid, what are you to do? You can’t talk to him.”


  • The parents had both seen the door to the baby’s room closed and assumed the other had already put her to bed.  She was a light sleeper so they were not accustomed to checking on her with every little noise.

Well, that’s just swell. Believe it or not, this is probably the most understandable statement they make.  We’ve all left something undone or unchecked thinking someone else had taken care of it already.  But, you’d think that something as important as…oh I don’t know, a fucking baby, would at least merit double checking!?  And while they may not have been accustomed to checking on her every time she woke up, wouldn’t the lack of noise signal something warranting a peek into her room?!

  •  The parents finally went to bed at 3AM Saturday night and slept until noon on Sunday, not yet checking on the baby.

WTF!?  I don’t care how well behaved your baby is or how well they sleep through the night, how can you not check on them once in over 9 hours!?  Why the hell not?  How do you not check on the baby first thing in the morning?  Don’t you think it’s odd you’ve been able to sleep so late!?

  •  The father then drove the same car to the gym, complete with baby still in the car.  The wife called at some point during his workout about the baby missing at which point she was discovered in the car already dead.

This just gets more mind numbing as it goes on.  The baby was still in the car.  How oblivious do you have to be?  Assuming you don’t even bother to check the back seat for whatever reason, do you ever check your rear view mirror!?  Odds are you’d see the baby there!  I just can’t fathom not catching at least a glimpse of the baby at some point during his drive to the gym, entering and exiting the car.

I can sympathize with anyone that loses a child, especially to something so preventable.  But I lose that sympathy when it’s due to obvious stupidity.  I can, to an extent, understand both seeing the baby’s door closed and with an extreme amount of stretching to my limits I can maybe believe that the baby was in every possible blind spot in the car that he didn’t see her on the drive in.  But I don’t care how tired, stressed, or distracted you are, there is no excuse for not checking on a child….a 7-Month-Old child….at some point before you go to bed, during the night, and first thing in the morning!!  That’s, at the very least, stupid….and at it’s worst, irresponsible and neglectful.

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