Category: School

There are certainly all kinds of ways to inspire kids to learn and a plethora of options for those that aren’t paying attention or otherwise following the rules.  However, pulling a gun on them probably isn’t in the top 25 for either of those.  Regardless, that’s exactly what Manuael Dillow, a Virginia teacher, decided to do during one of his classes.  Manuael, for no apparent reason, gathered up the kids and lined them up during class.  At which point he pulled the handgun from his waistband and fired somewhere between 4 to 10 blanks in the direction of the kids.  Naturally, they were all freaked out.  Granted, the gun was only a “blank firing handgun” like what you’d find at a track meet, but the students didn’t know that at the time.

It’s not exactly clear what this 60-year-old teacher’s motive was yet, but I can’t wait to hear what it is.  I’m sure the reason why it hasn’t been released means it’s very logical.  I can’t even begin to fathom what would convince someone this was a good idea with all the recent school shootings over the past months.

Virginia teacher arrested for firing blanks at students during class – Source: Yahoo! News

Boy, 5, brings 50 packets of heroin to school for show and tell – Yahoo! News.

In another stellar showing for parent of the year, a 5 year old boy brought his stepdad’s heroin to school for Show-and-Tell.  Not just one bag mind you….but 50 bags!  Even better, the stepdad showed up at the school to retrieve his drugs and was (gasp!) arrested.

The article doesn’t elaborate as to if the boy knew what the substance was or how he tried to introduce it to the class.  Nor does it indicate if he knew it would get his stepfather in trouble.  However, something inside me believes that this boy was probably smarter than his 35 year old guardian and had this all planned out from the start.  Nice move…

School veto’s Cougar mascot choice so they won’t offend middle-aged women  (courtesy Yahoo! News)

Yes, that’s right….you read the title correct.  Board members for a high school in Utah rejected the use/nickname of “Cougars” for their school mascot.  Why you ask?  Well, because it might offend middle-aged women (seeking a relationship with younger men)….sometimes referred to as Cougars.  WTF!?  Are you kidding me?  First, it’s important to note that there were several choices laid out that the students were able to vote on.  Cougars obviously came out on top.  Why did the administration even bother to put Cougars as one of the choices if they weren’t going to accept it?

Have we really gotten so overly sensitive that we are worried about offending people who may fall under certain slang terms?  We really might as well just give up and start changing our school mascots to boring, miscellaneous items….just to be safe.  How awesome would the Utah Tables be?  How about the Utah keyboards?  I’d suggest the Utah Dogs….that’s pretty generic….but then again, it might offend ugly people.  Forget it….I give up.

School Calls Police After Kids Kiss on Playground (courtesy

OK, now I know everybody is freaking out because of the recent sex scandals in Penn State and Syracuse, but what the hell is this??  A 12-year old girl goes up and gives a 12-year old boy a kiss on the playground and they call the police?  Stop.  Just…Stop.  It’s bad enough that the school officials called the Florida Department of Children and Families about this, but then the DCF told them to call the police?!  WTF!  How about telling the teacher to relax and just go talk to the kids

I realize that people are all paranoid about being sued for looking at someone wrong, and frankly, that’s part the problem.  I’m sure if this had gotten out and the school hadn’t called then some wacked out parent may have tried to sue them for allowing it to happen.  Whatever happened to just talking to the kids first?  Obviously the boy didn’t have a problem with it. Thankfully, the police had cooler heads and no action was taken against the little deviants.  

 First, how are they even going to police that?  Are they going to have someone collect and review each students cell phone records?  Collect and search all students actual cell phones?  I’m pretty sure there are some right to privacy violations in those situations, unless they can get the parents to somehow wave that right.  We’ll touch on the parent’s bit a little further down.

Second, what the hell!?  Off school hours and grounds?  What right does a school have to police what a child does out of school with their own property?  Before you answer that, think about the slippery slope this potentially creates.  What about Instant Messaging between students?  Emails?  Phone calls!?  I can certainly understand the need (and the right) to prevent such behavior within the walls of the school.  As far as I am concerned, students (outside of the college world) probably don’t even need to have their cell phone in school at all.  That’s fine.  Set policy that no cell phones are allowed in school.  I understand the concern over teen pregnancy and sex.  However, why, for the love of Bruce Campell, is a school trying to dictate what a kid can do outside of their walls?  Parents should be guiding the moral fiber of their children, not schools.  Sure, schools can help, but technically, it’s not what they are there for.  Which brings me to one of my biggest gripes….

Parents.  Specifically lazy parents.  I’m reminded daily how stupid and lazy some people are these days.  How it’s never “their fault” and are always looking to someone else to do their job for them.   Suck it up.  You’re a parent.  Pay attention to what your children are watching, playing, sayin, and texting.  Talk to them for crying out loud.  Get involved instead of just letting someone else raise your children for you.  This plague spreading across this nation of a sense of entitlement and selfishness is, in my opinion, the number one reason why this country….nay, the world, is in decline.

But I digress, it’s nor the school’s responsibility or right to police what students do on their free time outside of school.  It’s the parents job.  This movement is stupid….and anyone supporting it in it’s current form needs more than a couple good slaps.

I fully understand the sentiment that some people have, that parents should be teaching their kids about sex…not schools.  Respectfully, I think that’s a moot point for two reasons for this specific issue: 1) Parents can opt their children out of this class if they want to.  They can then teach them at home to their hearts content.  2). That’s a great sentiment, but I think we’ve all seen how so many people simply shouldn’t be parents or aren’t paying enough attention to their kids (either through fault of their own or not).  So the school providing an alternate way to educate kids is simply logical.  Should the parents sack up and make the time?  Damn right.  Does that mean they are actually going to?  I think we all know the answer to that question.

Let’s face it, kids these days are bombarded with sexually charged material from all angles these days.  The internet, TV, Radio, friends, video games, magazines, books…..everything.  Is that a good thing?  Is that the real root of the problem?  Maybe.  But that’s a moot point as well.  That’s not changing anytime soon.  In the meantime, we need to deal with the problem as best we can.  Who would you rather your kids learn about sex, abstinence, consequences, and contraceptives from?  A teacher….or one of the countless entertainment sources that surround them daily?  If the parents aren’t going to do it, don’t hinder the next best person’s ability to do so.  If you, as a parent, can do it yourself….kudos!  Not all can….or want to.  Let’s not throw the kids the the wolves just because some parents are unwilling or unable to lead them.

Thankfully,  according to Janine Geske, a Marquette University law professoer and former state Supreme Court Justice, such charges would likely be dismissed if an attempt to prosecute was brought to court.   “To be frank, I can’t follow exactly what he’s trying to get at,” remarked Geske. “If a teacher is educating a student pursuant to state law … I don’t see how under any examination (that) could be criminal.”

Disclaimer: All trademarks/registerd trademarks are properties of their respective owners. This website contains material submitted and created by third parties. We have made every effort to indicate ownership and provide recognition of said ownership whenever possible. If you feel that you hold copyright to any material contained on this site and wish it's removal, please contact us immediately for it's removal. Please keep in mind this is a humor website and we in no way advocate the abuse, physical harm, or any actions taken against any person or group.

Copyright © 2012 Coalition For Slapping Stupid People. All Rights Reserved.