Category: Humanity


Garbage Truck Compresses Load With Homeless Man Inside – Sacramento News Story – KCRA Sacramento.

Not much to the story really, but it gave me a small chuckle.  What made me need to post about this was the following statement:

“The driver of the truck started to compress the load when he heard screaming and stopped.”

He then called the Fire Department.  Uh….Wouldn’t it have been a good idea to also reverse the compress and let the guy out?  It would seem the guy was squashed in the back of the trash truck until the FD showed up to release him.  I guess he wasn’t too worried.

Is it any wonder that nobody takes PETA seriously?  The latest adventure in trying to figure out what the hell PETA is thinking was revealed today by way of Yahoo! News.  Apparently Peta is now upset with, wait for it….Nintendo’s Mario for wearing a “Tanooki” suit in the latest installment of the Mario Bros. series of games: Super Mario 3D.

PETA Slams Mario Over Use of a Fur Suit (courtesy of Yahoo!)

Let’s put aside the fact that this has been part of the series since Super Mario Bros. 3 back in 1998, but of all the things PETA get’s their panties in a wad about it’s this!?  Of all the things that happen in the Mario Bros. games, THIS!?  Mario and his brother Luigi consistently abuse all varieties of animals over the course of their games.  They stomp and kick turtles; throw fireballs at fish, turtles and anything else that moves.  How about all the abuse that Donkey Kong has endured?  And strange that there is no mention of the frog suit that Mario has been known to slip into from time to time.

In a statement from PETA, “Tanooki may be just a “suit” in Mario games, but by wearing the skin of an animal, Mario is sending the message that it’s OK to wear fur.”   Wait…what?  Who’s listening to any messages that Mario is sending?  Where are the hoards of kids jumping up into brick ceilings, stomping on turtles, or eating flowers to throw fireballs.  Oh, that’s right, there isn’t.  That’s probably because even the 5 year olds playing these games know it’s not real.

It’s not like he’s catching the Tanooki (which I didn’t even realize was a real animal) and skinning it right there on the screen.  Which, for anyone that’s played Red Dead Redemption knows, is frakking awesome!  No, he’s eating a leaf.  Nevermind how the hell that works, but obviously it’s just some elaborate costume.  Shouldn’t PETA be freaking out about people dressing up as a cat, dog, horse, or whatever during Halloween?

In the end, this is just more proof that the people of PETA are frakking insane.

German Man Marries his Cat  (Courtesy www.metro.co.uk)

What the hell is with all these strange weddings recently?  Marrying cats, pillows, video games.  I wonder what the divorce rate is for some of these weddings.  Does a man have to get divorced from his video game girlfriend when a new version of the game comes out?  Can he be married to more than one at a time?  Is that still considered polygamy??   Anywho….Man marries cat.  Apparently Cecillia was recently diagnosed as “ill with not much longer to live.”  So Uwe Mitzscherlich (whew…that was a chore to type) did what any other sensible pet owner would do….proposed marriage.  Wait….

Stunned officials refused to carry out the ceremony with the cat, but apparently thought it was OK if the cat had a stand in human actress.  WTF?  I just don’t get it.  What exactly is the point?  The cat has no idea what the hell is going on, and now it also has an incredibly difficult last name to spell.  You think it’s hard for you to spell…try being a cat!!

People still believe the Earth is flat…..Seriously.  Wander on over to www.TheFlatEarthSociety.org and have a look at these guys.  I’ve seen these guys off and on for the past couple years and am simply amazed at how many people actually believe this stuff.  No, it’s not a joke.  It’s completely serious.  Jump into their forums and read about the many “theories” they have on how our planet is flat, how it’s been kept secret, and why.  At the very least it’ll be a good laugh as they are consistently mocked, both by dimwits and actual smart people.  Marvel at the belief that all of the worlds governments are in on the conspiracy to hide this from the general public!  Scratch your head at the thought that Antarctica is actually a 500 ft ice wall that surrounds the “Earth” and prevents the oceans from spilling out into space!  Bang your head on the wall till it bleeds reading how gravity doesn’t exist.  When you fall, it’s really the Earth accelerating towards YOU…not the other way around!  WTF!?  There are no satellites, no real Moon.  Take comfort in the smart people that stump the “Flat Earthers” on a daily basis with *gasp* logic!!!!

Gilligan’s stupidity first blossomed when he bought the motor for his boat that was only a 20-litre fuel tank and a 20 horse power engine.  Far less capacity and power than what is necessary for sea use.  Instead of a nautical map, Gilligan thought it was good enough to use a common road map.  He, actually, didn’t even know what navigational charts were.  I guess that didn’t matter since he had no navigational equipment anyways.  He did have a VHF radio…..although he had no idea how to use it.  Lastly, he had zero provisions on board.  How can you not at least have beer on a boat??  Brilliant.

The Coast Guard advised him of all his stupidity and suggested taking a train to his destination in the future.  However, Gilligan decided to just fuel up and head out again.  He did manage to ask if he should go left or right to head for his destination.  It’s unknown weather Gilligan made it to his final destination though I suspect the Coast Guard simply beat him with a rubber hose and then sunk his boat.

Woman Called Fat, Bites Off Ear (Courtesy www.journalstar.com)

I may be a little off the mark here….but if someone calls you fat, should your next move be to take a bite out of something?  And before anyone mentions that she wasn’t eating, keep in mind that they never found the chunk of ear she managed to “Tyson” off her victim.  *shudder*  Sounds like she might have a hunger control issue!  There’s a picture, so you be the judge.  Honestly, I think the real issue is that her eyes are way too close together.  Man, that creeps me out.



Disclaimer: All trademarks/registerd trademarks are properties of their respective owners. This website contains material submitted and created by third parties. We have made every effort to indicate ownership and provide recognition of said ownership whenever possible. If you feel that you hold copyright to any material contained on this site and wish it's removal, please contact us immediately for it's removal. Please keep in mind this is a humor website and we in no way advocate the abuse, physical harm, or any actions taken against any person or group.

Copyright © 2012 Coalition For Slapping Stupid People. All Rights Reserved.