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This is a test, please ignore.  Or don’t….that’s OK, too.  It’s not really going to make much of a difference.  Does this herald the return of the Coalition?  Maybe!  Who really knows….

If you decide to go on a night of rampant vandalism that could result in damages in the tens of thousands, perhaps you should just consider any personal items lost during said crimes as collateral.  You certainly should try and go back and retrieve it.  Better yet, don’t take anything personal with you at all.  Let William Banks be an example to all of you!

Banks, and two other numbskulls, decided to go four wheeling in the middle of East Carolina’s football field causing around $35,000 in damages.  They also managed to plow the ATVs into a couple concession stands for good measure.  Banks was arrested when he decided to try and claim his phone that he dropped in the process of destroying the field.  I’m guessing it was an iPhone.

(Vandals Damage East Carolina’s Stadium with ATV’s – Source: Yahoo! News)

We’re on Twitter now.  Check us out at @C4SlapStupid

I’ve recently felt like the United States really had the market on stupid.  Of course, the majority of the news I read is what’s available here in the States, so I don’t get exposed to other countries’ stupid as much.  Thankfully, Sweden and managed to help me feel a little better about that today.  Only briefly, mind you, because shortly after reading the article I got a headache and had to weep for humanity.

Enter Sweden, where a law requiring everyone 15 years old or younger was passed a few years ago.  Naturally, people started discussing the idea that everyone, adults included, should wear helmets while riding their bikes.  In the US, we often struggle against things that seem…you know…smart.  I mean, why would you want to protect your head?  But Sweden managed to one-up us.  They were against this new legislation because it would be a “fashion disaster.”  With that in mind, Anna Haupt and Terese Alstin began development on the Hovding.  An inflatable “helmet” that would deploy like an airbag out of a stupid looking collar you would wear around your neck.  Yes….that sounds much better.

“To people like us, who wouldn’t be seen dead in a polystyrene helmet, the thought that we might be forced to wear one by law was cause for concern”


The Hovding (Picture source from

The primary reason for a helmet is to protect your head, your brain, so that you don’t get any stupider.  Obviously, with these people, it’s a little late for that.  As you can see from the picture, that’s certainly much more fashionable.  I’ve always wanted to wear a fanny pack around my neck.  The deployed version sort of looks like an alien face-hugger latched on to the back of your head.  I’m not really sure I’d trust a balloon over a rigid helmet as it’s sliding across the concrete.

I guess I shouldn’t be frustrated by something like this.  It’s just one more way nature can weed out those genes that probably shouldn’t be reproduced.

The Invisible, Inflatable Bike Helmet  (Source:

A moron Texas woman is suing the Dallas Cowboys and owner Jerry Jones because she sat on a black marble bench outside the stadium and it burned her.  The temperature on that day was 101 degrees and made the marble extremely hot.  This moron had to undergo skin grafts due to the extent of the burns.  She’s suing the Cowboys because there was no warnings that the benches might be too hot to sit on.

Now, I hate the Cowboys as much as any sane person, but WTF!?  Society has completely lost any semblance of common sense.

Woman Sues Cowboys Over Overheated Bench Burning – Source: The Washington Post

Occasionally, a story comes around that makes me want to just start round-housing random people.  Thankfully, a round-house from me would be more like “sweeping the leg,” which is far less satisfying, so I never follow through.  Regardless, I’m still angrily walking around gritting my teeth trying to understand how people can be so damned stupid.  I present to you yet another ridiculously stupid lawsuit that not only wastes taxpayers money, but also serves to teach kids abso-fucking-lutely nothing!!  I don’t even think “ridiculously stupid” even appropriately describes how stupid this is.

Teresa Bloodman, the mother of a Maumelle High School student in Arkansas, is suing the school district and state after (takes a breath) her son was cut from the basketball team.  Apparently, her son made the team after two tryouts, but was then cut after the third.  Several of the schools football players tried out at the third round and replaced several of the players, including this crazy lady’s son.  She is suing due to:

” …the deprivation of the right to a full and complete education which includes competition in sports and consequently athletic scholarships impairs (student name withheld) of a property right guaranteed under both the U.S. and State Constitutions.”

You’ve got to be absolutely shitting me!  Where in the Constitution….ANY Constitution, are you given the “right” to play a sport.  And how in the fuck are all these other kids getting an education who never even try out for a sport, let alone get to play one!  Good Christ!!  It’s just not possible!!!

The suit was filed back in October and has gone through months of hearings, motions, rulings, and other worthless wastes of time.  No trial date has yet to be set.  That, in itself, pisses me off.  There’s no reason crap like this should even go through hearings and motions.  The lawyer should have been the first person to laugh at her in the face, in a loud and extremely rude manner, tell her she’s a moron, then throw random office supplies at her till she left.  The Judge should have been the next person to laugh in her face and kicked her to the curb.  I would have then suggested a press conference to discuss how stupid it was and publicly point and laugh.  I would also have suggested the lawyer be fined for not “knowing better.”  What a unbelievable wast of everything….time, money, air.

The article goes on to list several asinine statements made by Bloodman that make me want to type them out by banging my head on the keyboard.  Let’s take a look at each of them and see if I can get through them all before my head explodes…

First, she says that holding a third tryout violated her son’s equal protection right because it’s not the same method used by girl’s teams when they pick their squads.

Holy Shit!!  I missed the laws passed that indicate teams must be picked in an identical method.  Lawyers are lining up at the schoolyard to talk to all those poor kids picked last at kickball!!!

 Second, she indicated that the coaches are not certified or qualified to coach, and therefore not able to choose who makes the team.

I’m guessing SHE is obviously more qualified?  Let’s see, it would appear that Maumelle Basketball went 21-4, undefeated in conference play, took 2nd place in the River City District Tournament.  I have no idea what that is but it sounds like these coaches are doing a fine job choosing accomplished and talented players for the team.

And lastly, her son wasn’t given the opportunity to appeal his dismissal from the team, a due process violation.

WTF!?  Due Process!?  Does she even know what the hell she is saying?  Does the Lawyer?  How did he keep a straight face while writing this crap up?  I really feel stupider for just reading the article, I can’t imagine how people actually involved in this farce feel.  You don’t get an appeal for getting cut from a team.  For the love of Bruce Campell, even the most spoiled of people, Paid Athletes, don’t try and pitch the idea of appealing a cut from a team.

Playing on a team is a privilege, not a right.  You try out and hope you make it.  IF you do, you hope you are good enough to stick around and not get replaced by someone better.  If you don’t, then you either sack up and live with it or you practice and get better.

Holy Shit!  There is a concept!  WORK HARDER TO GET SOMETHING!!  How in the hell will kids these days survive if everything isn’t spoon-fed to them!?  If you’re dead set on playing that sport, drop down to JV and get better.  He’s only a freshmen, it’s the normal progression of things.  Yes, I’m sure the kid is devastated, but life is tough.  Stuff isn’t just handed to you.  You have to work for it…..EARN IT. At least that’s the way it should be.  Every kid who tries out for a sport is not going to make it.  Even if you aren’t half bad, you still may not make it.  Bust your ass and get better or learn to play video games.  Hallelujah!  Holy Shit!!  Where’s the Tylenol!?!?

Maumelle Mother Sues After Son Cut From Basketball Team – Source:

Ark. Mother Sues District and State After Son Cut From Team – Source:

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